Monthly Archives: July 2012

Your Majesty The Queen, a side you didn’t know!

You know, Olympics and such. I’m not an athlete or something like that, I’m fucking awesome but they didn’t let me qualify for the Olympic games this year, I’ll try it again later on. It was in London, England relates to London, right? Yeah it does, if it doesn’t for you, go see the doctor!

So I took the plane, Amsterdam to London Airport. When I got off the plane I saw a group of people and the front one was holding a sign ‘Frexxxel’, So I walked up to them and we got into a conversation. They saw me as their hero, they heard my music and they knew all my lyrics. They invited me over to their apartment, I could stay there as long as I wanted to, for free. They even made me breakfast, lunch and dinner, choice was made quite easily. I was in London for the Olympic games, as I had to catch up with a few friends, they’re in the nation teams you know. So yeah, I went to see basketball, hockey, football and of course beach volleyball. I enjoyed myself, spoke with the coaches, they knew me as well and I knew them. In my early years I used to be in their squads, so that’s why.

When I was watching the beach volleyball match, England versus Spain, I was hyped. It was really exciting as both teams were on the same level, none of them topped the other. England made a point, straight after that, Spain made a point, and so on.  It was absurd, and you had to win with 2 points difference. It was 234 against 234 in the last set and England made a point, so they had a match-point. The coach asked for a time-out and they rushed into the dressing room where they stayed for like 5 minutes. When they came out, one of the team members slipped and hurt her ankle, she couldn’t play no more. Someone had to take her spot, or England lost the game! Then suddenly someone started shouting in the audience, no one knew where it was coming from as it wasn’t that loud. Everyone got quiet and suddenly we heard where it was coming from, an old lady walked up the field in a snobby outfit, you could see she was a wealthy woman. As soon as she came closer, I realised who it was, it was Queen Elizabeth! The Queen, your majesty took the spot and the match continued. Elizabeth served and it went as a straight rocket over the net, it was unblockable! England won!

After that when I left the stadium I heard Elizabeth shouting my name, asking for my phone number! Hold up, never mind it was a dream!

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Yo, pass me some headphones man!

What’s up?! This is Frexxxel and you’re watching ThisIs50.com! Got my man Jack Thriller sitting next to me, you know the dude with the fake eye, I’m going to ask him a couple questions! I wish it was like that, he isn’t even asking me questions and you’re not watching ThisIs50, you’re reading my blog, Wagone!

The only true part was the 50 part. Me and 50 grew up together, we’ve always been cool. When we were younger we used to do everything together, we chilled in the playgrounds and got known on the streets. I wasn’t that cool actually, 50 was. I was 50’s best friend so that made me cool, somehow. We went to the same school and were in the same class, we actually did everything together, we just didn’t live together, that’s it. In class we made our teacher’s lives a living hell, we threw pencils, pens, shot paper balls trough our pens on the school board. We did whatever so the teacher got pissed off, but we knew when to stop. We always continued till the moment the teacher was about to snap and send us out of class straight to the principals office. We lost contact when we went to secondary school as we both chose different schools.

I finished my school and I had no clue what happened to 50, until one day I turned on my TV and switched to MTV. I saw my best friend rapping there next to half nude woman dancing on his beats. It was crazy to see as I never noticed 50 was down with that kind of music, we never really listened to music together. I wanted to get in touch with my old friend again, see what got him that far, so I tried. But after a while I thought it was a waste of effort and time, my old friend got shut down from the world, his label took over. They told me ‘You’re not his real friend, you’re just one of the others claiming to be his friend just to get the opportunity to chill with fitty, get some money or lean on his success’.

As I told before my reach is quite width as I chilled with Rick Ross before. Rozay was in a beef with 50 before but as I was a good fella off him, he ended the beef specially for me. Then a couple weeks after that, Ross gave me a call ‘Yo Frexxxel, come over to my place, I’m here with my man fitty’. So I rushed over to Ross’ place and I finally got to meet my best friend after all these years.  We spoke for hours, and he offered me a spot in his management. I’m now his tour-manager, damn!

You know his headphones? Sleek by 50, yeah that was my idea! Never mind, it was a dream, fuck!

Well, that was kind of weird..

 

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So recently I’ve been checking a couple news sites, which I never did before, I just read the newspaper. And I saw this weird thing, Frank Ocean, the singer of OFWGKTA, Tyler The Creator’s label came out of the closet, well he isn’t gay but he’s bisexual, same shit for me to be honest. So yeah I read a few articles about it, and fell asleep.
 
I hopped in my car the other day, just to go to the supermarket. Had my family coming over in the weekend, so I needed some food, drinks and all that. Well, when I was at the supermarket’s parking lot, I suddenly noticed a black man dancing on the middle of the parking lot. He was carrying a boombox on his left shoulder and making the most bizarre moves I had ever seen. It was entertaining though, after a while a crowd started gathering around the man. And then later on, one noticed the man dancing, was actually a singer. A world-famous singer, damn! Suddenly everyone noticed and started shouting and rushing to Frank, Frank Ocean. Everyone tried to get the best pictures and videos and shouting for that signature, but all Frank did was dancing. People pushing each other against cars, on the ground and getting into fights, but Frank kept dancing.
 
After an hour or so, when more people left and I had bought my groceries, a big white Hummer V3 parked on the parking lot. A skinny chinese looking guy stormed out the car followed by 4 width-chested bodyguards. He jumped onto Frank and tried to seduce him while shouting ‘NO HOMO, NO HOMO’. All Frank did was push him off of him, threw a few punches on his face as he knocked him out with a kick and walked off dodging the bodyguards. I approached Frank and got into a conversation with him. He wanted to tell me about the girls he has been with, but I though to myself ‘Didn’t you announce you’re bisexual like days ago?’. So I told him ‘Man, weren’t you gay?’, he got mad and knocked me out as well.
 
Well, that might have been a dream as well, yeah it was!

You see that picture above you, you must know who that is! You don’t? Well, it’s Rozay, Rick Ross, a big, fat, pot smoking, rapper. Whenever I look at that picture, it reminds me of the little gathering Ricky and I had a while back. He invited me over to his mansion, and of course I passed a few Maybachs while driving up his property in my Ford Fiesta. Kinda embarrassing, don’t you think?

So anyway, I rang the doorbell and Rozay opened the door with one hand while holding a bucket with the other one. It was a bucket made of steel, stuffed till the edge with chicken, fried chicken straight out of Kentucky, that Kentucky Fried Chicken! First thing I thought ‘Yo fatass, pass me some, you’ve had enough’, but I didn’t have the balls to actually say it out loud. I mean, imagine what would happen if he took a sit on top of me, daaaaamn! But the funny part didn’t even come yet, I asked him if I could have some of the sweet, oh so tasty, in heaven made, chicken. He just nodded at me and gave me like a follow sign, so that’s what I did. We entered a room, which was completely empty except for a small pole with a button on top, he motioned me to push it, so I did. All of a sudden the whole room changed into a KFC restaurant. I stared around and couldn’t believe what I was seeing; Crispy chicken, topless employees with tight red shorts, huge sound installation bumping ‘Rick Ross ft. Meek Mill – Black Magic’, tables packed with towers of dollar bills.

And then the sickest thing was that I got to.. Never mind, it was all a dream!

Yeah, I got to chill with the untouchable, ROZAY!

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